Clear Writing Tips

We appear to be suffering from a case of excess verbiage in our written communication. Read a legal brief or a government document, and you may want to throw up your hands and say, “Get to the point.” To be a clear writer, you must become your own editor. You must develop a “critical eye.” Consider these sentences and how they can be improved:

1. If three dominant companies see it as lucrative to crisscross Alaska’s rough terrain with 800 miles of fiber, it’s possible that competition may be coming to your neighborhood.

Note the italics. Those words are redundant. Removing them makes the sentence read better, without changing the meaning.

Tip #1: Look for redundancies, as in: To measure customer satisfaction, you may want to ask your customers to rank their overall satisfaction with your company.

2. The first item of research should be to find out which segment of the population is generating the bulk of the revenues.

Note the first six words. This is classic government writing. Instead, you could say:“First, research should find out which segment…”

Tip #2: Be concise. Too many unnecessary words make the reader lose interest.

3. Every effort should be made by both management and the board to reduce the chance of failure.

Passive voice is a copout. When the object becomes the subject, you lose focus. Lawyers love this type of obscure writing. Instead, consider this: “Both management and the board should work to reduce…”

Tip #3: Avoid the passive voice

4. The board should understand that not everything they try will succeed.

Here is a common error in agreement. The board is an entity, thus an “it.” Another common error is using “who” with “company,” as in: The company who plays together is a company who works together. “Company” should always be associated with “that” or “which.” A company is a thing, not a person.

Tip #4: Check your agreement

5. By gathering residential information, including population and family growth rates, household size, age distribution, education levels, income levels, and technical acceptance levels, a better understanding of the customers’ potential needs and values will be gained.

Passive voice can get you into trouble. Here, it appears that “a better understanding” is doing the “gathering.” Simply turn the main clause around and you solve the problem. “By gathering residential information, …you gain a better understanding of…”

Tip #5: Avoid dangling modifiers. Your seventh grade grammar teacher was right all along.

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